|Purveyor of the Fruits|
|Elmer, Purveyor of Fruits|
A proboscis monkey who sells fruits. Has an on-and-off rivalry with Seymour, the sand salestapir. Formerly he answered to an unnamed, seemingly tyrannical Master. He has two nieces, Griselda and Sound Cloud. He has mentioned an item called The Sigil several times, which is implied to have the ability to harm him. He also uses the word Gunch as a synonym for death or bodily harm, although both he and Seymour have started to show signs of exasperation with the term and its popularity.
Elmer is older than can be comprehended. The countless millennia he's spent in this realm (and others) have tested him and found him worthy, and he is amongst the few vendors that can truly claim to have unflinchingly endured the great many catastrophes of the Sandsverse's history. Hardened by his eons of cosmic survival, yet emboldened by them, he has become something of a guardian of the realm. He is a scholar of Runes, a practitioner of The Sacred Geometry, wielder of The Tesseract, and, perhaps most importantly, the Geometric Blockade who tirelessly bends The Space Between Worlds to his will, ensuring the safety of many realms and dimensions of reality.
On the 16th of February, 2017, in an event known as the Breach, Elmer was replaced by an imposter in the form of a snub-nosed monkey. With the help of Horace and Seymour, Elmer was able to seemingly reset the timeline, halting Zhdun's attack.
Elmer, having transcended his body, was the antagonist of the Happy Day Incident in February 2018, until he was Logged by Morbitum back into his normal self.